Her

She's learning.

At 17, she's only fallen down a few times, not enough to teach her the ways of the world.

The age where, from one country to the other, she had to adjust. Learn and explore the world that's opening itself to her in the form of a different place, one where she has the chance to have a new life: establish new friendships, find interesting new hobbies, see places, learn.

Like a newborn child, she had to grasp a reality where she has nothing except for what she already had. Knowledge and experience: these are what makes up a person's existence. And this is what she's holding on to. 

She's broken.

At 18, she trusted too much, cared too much, loved too much.

The age where she gave everything to a guy she thought was "the one". Never losing her innocence, she willingly molded her world to revolve around love, too young to realise this isn't how life goes.

This is the year she slept through the whole year, just to wake up, 18 and still feeling the way she was the day before.. and the day before that.. and the week.. and months that's already passed, not letting go of the pain that she caused herself thinking she deserves it.

She's confused.

At 19, she knows enough to not be led to do the wrong thing but because of her childlike mindset and teenage misery, she repeatedly screws up.

This is the age between her as a child and her as an adult. The bridge of life she's stuck in for three hundred sixty five days, going back and forth, back and forth to progress and failure. But who is she to be judged. She is but a child, learning from her mistakes. But no, she is an adult too, learned of the world and aware of her actions.

She's lost.

By age 20, she's been around for two decades now, have her fair share of mistakes and successes that define who she is and how she is.

This is the age where she is expected to suddenly act mature, lose her unmissable youthful thoughts and become part of the adult world where everything is but small step away from craziness. Also the age where she begins admiring the importance of coffee in everyone's lives including her own.

A cup of coffee a day, makes her sanity stay.

And this is the year she is given another chance at education, learning inside four walls. And this is also the year she learns to lie and lie and lie. Too afraid to admit that she doesn't know what she's doing with her life and that she's losing her edge. 

The year where despite everything that's going wrong with her and her oblivious parents, she finds love, in its true form.

And though she may be lost, she is loved.

Well, Oh Well

The number of unpublished posts I have on this blog is just depressing.

I've been wanting to write about quite a few blog posts for the past weeks that I haven't updated. Not that I've been busy, well, I actually have been because although we were on our term break for uni, I was working at my two jobs non-stop.
How about you guys? Or girls? How's life going?

This is just a quick "Hello, what have you guys been up to? This is what I've been doing" kind of post. :)

'Til next time. ❤ 

Crash And Burn

The ups and downs of life are mere parts of it. Putting something down as a definite 'up' or 'down' is like living in a world where it's only either black or white. No grey areas, no shades, no colours at all.

Today, I witnessed a friend of mine break down because it seems to her that every aspect of her life is just spiralling down and that she can't do anything to save it: her father being close to death but refusing to quit smoking anyway, her mother being suffering from depression and not even wanting to get out of bed all day because of her failed marriage, her sister's failed marriage and ex-brother-in-law's threats to kill his own children and on top of that, finally being told the truth about the first guy she loved deeply cheating on her with a girl that she considered a best friend.

It's as if her life is a book and this is the part before the climax where the main character has to suffer every imaginable problem anyone can think of to arise a new person: successful, contented and at most, happy.

She's the type of person who you'd never think of as someone who's carrying all this weight on her shoulders, she puts a front that no one can break through and that is how I can say she's strong. I know she'll get through all this like the protagonist she is.

What is life is but a series of mishaps and little joys that make a person whole.

Long-distance ❤

Today marks the 250th day I decided I'm going to go all the way and have long-distance everything.

Ever since my family migrated, I've kept in contact with friends that are 3673 miles away from me. I've known them for five years now and although it doesn't seem that long, I'm certain that they're life-long friends. Through ups and downs, sunshine and rain, both extremes, you name it, they've been there for me and I for them.

That's why I value the friendship we all share. The kind where we can have no communication for a long time and when we finally do, it's as if no distance or lack of contact ever happened.

Well, this one's not that much of a different story, really.

I've known this guy for at least 7 years but we never talked.. until last year when I went for a holiday in the Philippines. It was weird, natural, but definitely weird how we just clicked straight away.
It was like we had the same train of thought, ha. ;)
I don't want to go in too much detail about all that happened but yes,

8 months later and he's still there for me, not only as a boyfriend, but as a friend who can tolerate listening to me talk about nonsense and little stories about anything and everything in my head for more than five hours at a time.

I'd always say how others have long-distance relationships while here I am proud of my long-distance friendships. Never knowing that I too
would be in one soon enough.

From plain old text messaging and calling cards, to Skype video calls, to Viber, to Rebtel, to Facebook and a few more, I forget that these people are four states, three countries and eleven seas away from me.

This is for the friends I haven't seen for a long time..

And the friends I met through the internet..

And the friends I've known more than half of my life..   

For the love of coffee.. and the future

 I wanted to tell a funny, inspiring anecdote about my life but then again, as many stories as I can tell you, I can't choose what to tell. So I'll start with one thing that hasn't changed for the past seven years. Well, except for my love for writing and reading. My hopes to be a lawyer.
Up until I graduated primary school, I wanted to be a teacher. Funny thing is, all those years, I knew I wasn't going to be a good one.


As early as Grade 2 (8 years old), I was already a pretend "teacher" to a few kids my age and younger but I was always impatient when they answer my questions wrong, feeling like they should understand it straight away. Maybe it was me, not being clear or maybe it was what I taught them that never made it work. Honestly, it was just a lost cause but I enjoyed it somehow.
As funny as it was, we did keep at it the whole summer.

Fast forward to the 12-year-old me, starting first year of high school. I vaguely remember how it started but I know for sure that it was then when I felt that my calling was to be a lawyer. All four years of high school, I spent dreaming about the future where I would study Political Science in a good university, specifically West Visayas University.


In the Philippines, bachelor degrees go for four years and it just happened that my preferred course goes for eight years: 4 years of any bachelor degree and another 4 years for Law.

I got accepted into two universities during my senior year. One of the few achievements I will forever treasure and be extremely proud of. University of the Philippines is considered a prestigious university, one of the best back in the Philippines.

Getting into my dream university made my day but getting into UP made my whole year. It was a total surprise as it was only the class valedictorian and I that got in. 

I guess I'll have to cut the story short and in the end, I chose WVSU because of practicality as I got into the same course for both universities anyway(we were waiting for migration papers too).It did break my heart at first but a month after classes started, we received news that our visa was approved and we were leaving. Plus in that six weeks I was a university student, I met a few people I consider friends, more so family, that I still get in contact with until now.

And now, here I am, three years after, still hoping to be closer to my life-long dream to be a lawyer. Two more years and I might finally get into a Law degree. Like a friend told me, "Don't worry about being old and not finishing your studies yet. You'll get there. Life's not a race. Just hold on."

First things first.

I've been wanting to make a blog for a loooooooong time now. I've signed up on Tumblr, Wordpress, Posterous and at least three different blogging sites that are free to use but I always end up not posting anything there; never knowing what to talk about but hey, at least I'm trying. Right?

Well, first things first.

Welcome to the whirlwind of thoughts that constantly blow my mind over and away.

Just a little something before I end my first post.
Sumptis agitarem. Musing.
I named my blog that because I'm a sucker for anything weird, different, fascinating.
In ten, twenty years time, I want to look back at this and see my life like an old, favourite movie: familiar, lingering, memorable.

'Til next time. ❤